The Best Advice I EVER Got…
The year was 2004 and I had just lost everything I’d mistakenly come to hold dear.
I had lost my home
Money
Worldly possessions
My so called friends
Even the girl I had just started dating was done with me — funnily enough this was an expected and welcomed turn of events as it kind of proved me right on a twisted theory I had.
Anyway there I was. Broke. Feeling pretty alone (although I wasn’t in reality, but then again we mortals love sometimes to see the worst in a bad situation).
Coincidentally it was only as I shook off the dust of depression that I realised how dimly lit things were at that time. I had lost a good 11 kg, wasn’t eating and for a moment could not remember how long it had been since I had really slept.
Since that dark period of my life I have never — despite the many trials, losses and even dangers since, ever found myself in that dark and horrid a funk. Not that I haven’t been in worse places and positions. Not that I haven’t experienced loss and betrayal of grander scales than I had at that time — because I have.
Today I am going to take a few moments to share some of the best advice that I’ve read, heard and learned over the years that have helped me to steer clear of the version of myself that I was that day back in 2004…
They say that “Average people learn from their own mistakes, smart people learn from other people’s mistakes” — one tit bit that would have saved me a lot of knocks in life and one that will help you a hell of a lot.
So here goes.
One of the greatest pieces of advice I ever learned is that “nobody really cares about me”. I actually wrote a blog or maybe an article about this, but the premise is simple. Morbid as the statement sounds by itself, you probably have an over inflated belief about how much your life matters to other people.
You will very likely find that letting go of that illusion will make you a much happier person with much more fulfilling life. I remember a meme that was flying around with a man shouting up to the heavens saying “Lord save me from my haters” and the image moving on to show God looking down saying “man, ain’t nobody thinking about you”.
The Truth hurts sometimes…
Being happy is easier when you are the determining factor. Basing it on external circumstances and people is just plain stupid.
Operate as though budget was not the option in business and watch miracles happen from that position of faith; operate as though other people’s opinions are not the life blood of your self worth and again, watch miracles happen from that position of bloody common sense.
I have come to define faith as the subconscious expectation of what we accept can or will happen, whether positive or negative. Taking actions that demonstrate a lean towards the positive create a habit of doing that and a reality that matches.
People who care will always be there for you, even if you don’t really deserve it. For me, I have found that they will also be there even when you don’t see that they are around to love and support you. Recognising this was one of the things that really brought me back from the abyss and I will always love and honor my family for that.
Later doesn’t come for everybody. Stay in the now, live life. Have new experiences and enjoy the ride while you can. I speak a lot about being present for personal power in my book Stepping Beyond Intention, and another book, The Power of Now, by Ekhart Tolle, (one the Five books I live by) gives a deep an enlightened look at the senselessness of living in the past and worrying about the future. Check out the page on five books I live by on my Goodreads book shelf
Remember that life is to be lived and at the end of the day we are only here for a bit before we either fade to nothing or head somewhere else. Work out what you are here to do and live a full life in joyful pursuit of that. Have a great day and keep dreaming with your eyes open!
For nearly 20 years I have been painstakingly researching life lessons from history, another great lesson? There comes a time to put down the books and apply what you are learning — I have no doubt that I would have been living the joyful life I now live much sooner in life had I stopped reading about other people and started living the lessons learned so far with awareness.
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